Deep in every heart it lies With its untranscended skies; For what heaven should bend above Hearts that own the heaven of love? If you believe in peace , act peacefully; if you believe in love, acting lovingly; if you believe every which way, then act every which way, that's perfectly valid — but don't go out trying to sell your beliefs to the system. You end up contradicting what you profess to believe in, and you set a bum example.
If you want to change the world , change yourself. There are three lessons I would write, — Three words — as with a burning pen, In tracings of eternal light Upon the hearts of men. Have Hope. Though clouds environ now, And gladness hides her face in scorn, Put thou the shadow from thy brow, — No night but hath its morn. Have Faith. Where'er thy bark is driven, — The calm's disport, the tempest's mirth, — Know this: God rules the hosts of heaven, The habitants of earth. Have Love. Not love alone for one, But men, as man, thy brothers call; And scatter, like the circling sun, Thy charities on all.
Thus grave these lessons on thy soul, — Hope, Faith, and Love, — and thou shalt find Strength when life's surges rudest roll, Light when thou else wert blind. Before our lives divide for ever, While time is with us and hands are free , Time, swift to fasten and swift to sever Hand from hand, as we stand by the sea I will say no word that a man might say Whose whole life's love goes down in a day; For this could never have been; and never, Though the gods and the years relent, shall be.
Is it worth a tear, is it worth an hour, To think of things that are well outworn? Of fruitless husk and fugitive flower, The dream foregone and the deed forborne? Though joy be done with and grief be vain, Time shall not sever us wholly in twain; Earth is not spoilt for a single shower; But the rain has ruined the ungrown corn. I had grown pure as the dawn and the dew, You had grown strong as the sun or the sea.
But none shall triumph a whole life through: For death is one, and the fates are three. At the door of life, by the gate of breath, There are worse things waiting for men than death; Death could not sever my soul and you, As these have severed your soul from me.
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You have chosen and clung to the chance they sent you, Life sweet as perfume and pure as prayer. But will it not one day in heaven repent you? Will they solace you wholly, the days that were? Will you lift up your eyes between sadness and bliss, Meet mine, and see where the great love is, And tremble and turn and be changed? Content you; The gate is strait; I shall not be there. The pulse of war and passion of wonder, The heavens that murmur, the sounds that shine, The stars that sing and the loves that thunder, The music burning at heart like wine, An armed archangel whose hands raise up All senses mixed in the spirit's cup Till flesh and spirit are molten in sunder — These things are over, and no more mine.
These were a part of the playing I heard Once, ere my love and my heart were at strife; Love that sings and hath wings as a bird, Balm of the wound and heft of the knife.
Fairer than earth is the sea, and sleep Than overwatching of eyes that weep, Now time has done with his one sweet word, The wine and leaven of lovely life. Sweet is true love though given in vain , in vain; And sweet is death who puts an end to pain: I know not which is sweeter, no, not I. Love, art thou sweet?
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O Love, if death be sweeter, let me die. Being in love truly is much deeper and lasting than the initial emotion. Romantic love can last many years, but it changes in how it is felt and how it is shown, like the course of a river changes, but keeps being the same river. I have come to know many marriages in which the spouses keep being in love after thirty years. What has ended is not romantic love, nor their capacity to keep falling in love with their spouse, but the exciting feeling of novelty and adventure characteristic of the first months in a love relationship.
That is the juvenile stage of the relationship, which is as pleasant as it is ephemeral.
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Trying to keep this juvenile stage is as illusory as trying to stop the passing of time, and its effects. The second misconception is to reduce love to a feeling. This brings about a mutilated type of love. Certainly romantic love is essential for the proper growth of relationships, but there are other essential aspects of love that come together with the feeling and cannot be discarded. Trying to separate these aspects would be like amputating love itself. Love is friendship, the type of fellowship and loyalty typical in two people who share a common project and enjoy working on it together.
Love is also giving oneself away.
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It focuses on the other person, and it tries to enrich, edify, encourage Love also means affection; a mysterious sensation of binding that produces in us a deep feeling of emptiness in the absence of our significant other. These are some reasons why we cannot reduce love to the feeling of falling in love.
Why do we say that it cannot be sustained? Because a love in which its most substantial traits are mutilated does not have any supports. It becomes an unbearable love. Love is also an emotion to be enjoyed, absolutely, but it is also an effort to work on.
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Let's look into it more closely. Its construction requires three main elements which constitute the essence of marriage:. Each one of these aspects is expressed, respectively, by a different value: faithfulness, intimacy and forgiveness. There is a steady rock upon which the edifice of solid love is built: the commitment stemming from a covenant. Loving is much more than just feeling. To love means staying faithful to the promises made. Love clings to -and rests upon- a decision. Its stability cannot depend upon emotions and feelings, since these are intrinsically unstable.
The commitment which stems from a covenant is the anchor impeding the shipwreck when the storm comes, the guarantee of stability in the middle of conflict and crisis. A covenant is the main safeguard of every relationship, but in marriage it acquires a special meaning, because marital love is a reflection of the perfect love that God has for humankind.
In God's eyes the covenant of marriage is a fundamental covenant , not just a simple agreement between two people that can be terminated lightly.
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The covenant is expensive and is desired. It costs dearly, it requires effort and dedication, but it also is desired.
The fulfillment of the covenant -faithfulness- is one of the most desired attributes because it is a precious reflection of divine nature. God is faithful. A cheap covenant, on the other side, leads to poor commitment, fragile relationships and, eventually, to an easy break-up of the relationship. Once the foundation is laid, the building has to grow. The construction of solid love requires a very sensitive material: intimacy.
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Intimacy is to a couple what oxygen is to the lungs. Intimacy is closeness at all levels, it is global: it tries to get close to and inside the other one at the emotional and physical levels. It is the desire to penetrate the soul of the loved one and to achieve a real encounter between two people, not only between two bodies. Intimacy excludes parallel lives -living together, but apart. Intimacy tries to get to know, to understand the other, it doesn't aspire to change the other one, but to accept. It understands difference as an enriching treasure, not as a dividing obstacle.